Chapter 201 - Not By My Mother's Hand
[ANNOUNCEMENT: This chapter is dedicated to fieryscarlett02 for leaving a review for my story! Thank you so much!]
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"Your friend… Hao Jiao Long. He threatened me."
It\'s as if the blood from Pan An\'s face drained away. With him turning pale with the sudden inclusion of his friend with whom they can no longer contact, he didn\'t know what to say, nor how to react.
"What?"
Ruo Xi tried her best to fight back the forming smirk that is tugging the corner of her lips. With her feigning vulnerability as she covered her hand to her mouth so as to hide her lips in order for Pan An not to suspect a thing, she said something that made sense to Pan An.
"Haven\'t you wondered why he suddenly left and why you couldn\'t contact him, too? It\'s because of what I said—he threatened me…"
Pan An stood still in front of Ruo Xi. With him not believing what he has heard, he didn\'t know whether she was lying or saying the truth.
Because coincidentally, that was also the time that their best friend went "missing."
Pan An just stood in his place, blinking his eyes in disbelief for a few times. With Ruo Xi furrowing her brows in worry as she didn\'t know what Pan An is thinking, deep down, however, she felt happy to see the sudden change of his hostility into silence.
Ruo Xi didn\'t expect herself to say a bad thing about her husband as well! She somehow felt guilty afterward, but soon after, it\'s as if that small tinge of guilt was not there—the joy of getting Pan An\'s attention giving her satisfaction.
The professor calmed himself down. He knew that being flabbergasted upon the information will not do him good so he started thinking—remembering what his mother and his friend told him.
They acted adamantly about Pan An forgetting about Ruo Xi. They were saying stuff about her, saying that she betrayed him. Heck, even Wang Lei has told and warned Pan An that Hao Jiao Long is involved!
And with Ruo Xi now saying that she was "threatened" by Hao Jiao Long, it further confirmed the warnings of his mother and his friend.
He suddenly disappeared at the same time Ruo Xi left. He could only deduce this much that indeed, both of them may be together.
But something is amiss.
Pan An knew right here and then that he shouldn\'t trust Ruo Xi the way he trusted her before all the years when they were together.
It was difficult, but he had to be rational.
He didn\'t know whether she was lying… and of course, he didn\'t know whether she was saying the truth!
Pan An knew better to play it safe than to act by mere judgments without evidences.
The professor let out a sigh all of a sudden, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
"Let\'s go back to class. I have no time for this right now."
Ruo Xi widened her eyes. As she saw Pan An about to leave once more, she couldn\'t believe that he brushed this issue aside for a moment, making him cling onto his arm to stop him in his tracks!
Because of this, Pan An knitted his brows together in frustration, now harshly getting his arm away from her grip.
"What is wrong with you?"
"Why don\'t you believe me?"
Ruo Xi\'s voice came out desperately this time, rather than saddened.
"Why are you pushing me away when you told me that you loved me so much and that you will always be here for me no matter what?"
Pan An exasperatedly ran his hand through his hair. With him wanting to leave the classroom as he couldn\'t stand being in front of her, he snapped at her with his words.
"How can you be this shameless? How can you do this when I know for a fact that your pride is important?"
"See?" Ruo Xi\'s lips trembled. "You know me so well. You still know so much about me and—"
"What we shared together is nothing but a part of the past. We parted in the most painful way but it made me learn. You coming back here, I could say that it\'s not that simple."
"Pan An—"
"You say you were threatened," Pan An interrupted, already pointing a finger at her as if accusing her of a crime. "But what are you doing here if you claim that Hao Jiao Long threatened you?"
Ruo Xi bit her bottom lip, not knowing what to say. She knew that Pan An is intelligent, but she didn\'t know that he was able to keep his emotions at bay and reassess the situation!
With another sigh coming from the professor, he looked at Ruo Xi coldly, his words that slipped from his tongue daggers aimed to her heart—stabbing her a lot of times.
"Indeed I loved you so much and I promised you that I would be there for you when need be. But that was before when I was a fool, Ruo Xi. People change, and promises can be broken. I don\'t want any connections with you anymore. Don\'t make this difficult as it is."
Ruo Xi couldn\'t believe it—Ruo Xi couldn\'t fathom it! She never had her heart broken but being treated by Pan An this way, being thrown heartbreaking words by Pan An this way, it made her feel what it felt like to have a heartbreak.
It is excruciatingly painful in the chest, making it difficult for her to breathe. She thought that her tears were only an act, but this time, it was true. And this time…
She regretted fooling him.
Why did she only realize it now that in the end she wanted Pan An, despite marrying his good friend, Hao Jiao Long?
"P-Pan An…" Ruo Xi sobbed, her eyes already swollen as she cried. "Please don\'t push me away. I… I want you back."
Pan An\'s ear twitched. He didn\'t know why, but at this moment when his eyes wandered off from her stature, his gaze shifted to the wall behind her where he had earlier pinned Shu Xian against it.
How absurd it is to think of her right at this moment when his ex was desperate to ask him back. He remembered his moment with Shu Xian that sent pleasurable shockwaves throughout his body.
He remembered how Shu Xian willingly allowed Pan An to kiss her passionately. He remembered the sensation of her hand running through his hair with want and need, her hand also on his arm as she balanced herself because her legs felt like jelly.
Other than that pleasurable moment, he remembered how Shu Xian appreciated his gift during her birthday celebration yesterday.
He remembered how both of them confessed to each other their fervent feelings for each other when she thought that he would lose him to his ex.
Oh, how he felt pride and joy swelling from his chest when he saw the fear in Shu Xian\'s eyes—the uneasiness reflected in her words and actions that she didn\'t want to be toyed.
It was then by the sight of that that Pan An knew that he, too, felt the same way—he was ardently waiting for Shu Xian all his life and both of them were too stubborn not to accept it because they live together and because of their status in the university.
Shu Xian… she\'s the only woman in his mind that he should think of now and no one else.
This Ruo Xi before him whom he had given the world to should be long forgotten and should be long ignored.
Shu Xian deserved more and Pan An didn\'t want her to feel uneasy and he didn\'t want her to doubt him.
Now is the time to end this—now is the time to completely shove Ruo Xi away from his life.
"Pan An?"
When Ruo Xi called out to him, it had snapped Pan An from his stupor. With him slowly shifting his gaze back to the woman in front of him, Ruo Xi spoke again, wondering why he was not paying attention.
"What are you thinking of?"
The corner of Pan An\'s lips curled into a smirk. With his lopsided smile sending shivers down Ruo Xi\'s spine as she saw how handsome the professor is, what Pan An had said next broke the woman\'s imaginative trance, not liking what she had heard as an answer.
"Shu Xian. The girl whom you just saw who came in late."
"What?"
Ruo Xi didn\'t know why, but she took a few steps back until she reached the wall where Shu Xian was earlier.
With her back hitting the concrete, Pan An did a kabe-don, his voice mischievous as he intentionally annoyed Ruo Xi.
"I had her there in your place just a moment ago and assured her of my intentions. Both of us wanted each other right here and then and if we were not in the university, I bet we\'d be doing something more."
"Y-you—!!"
Ruo Xi felt rage course through her veins, her tears already ceasing as her hands at her sides balled into tight fists due to frustration.
"I know you would not dare say a thing that would risk our reputation," Pan An added, his smirk not leaving his face. "Because if you do, consider yourself gone from the country once more. Not by my mother\'s hand… but by mine."