Chapter 195 - How Dare You Say That...
***Early update because it's Sunday, don't forget to read the author's note later at the end***
[This chapter is dedicated to Zeno98 for being a nice leaver of comments in my story this last month of June! Thank you so much for the support~! I hope to see more of your comments soon! ^^ Ti amo! Tanto tanto tanto tanto tantissimo! Mwah!]
***
Shu Xian didn't rush to the bathroom since she didn't want to be seen crying by the other girls if she came there. Instead, she rushed to the empty classroom near their room since she knew that this is a room not used to conduct lessons.
Shu Xian's tears ran freely from her eyes. With her taking deep breaths as she inhaled and exhaled, it finally gave her the moment to breathe, slightly calming herself down with her assumptions.
'Come on, Shu Xian,' she thought to herself, fanning her hands to her face as if it could help her tears stay in her eyes. 'Why are you suddenly being affected by this when you're just starting to like the professor? What's up with being scared?'
Shu Xian closed her eyes and took another series of deep breaths. With the silence of the classroom, suddenly, the sound of the door opening and closing made her body stiffen, wondering who had followed her here.
"Shu Xian."
The woman gasped in surprise when she heard her name. With her turning her body to look at the professor, she felt her heart racing once more when she saw him approach her, with a panicked expression on his face.
"Shu Xian," he said her name once again, taking another step towards her. "Why are you—"
"P-please," Shu Xian interrupted, putting her hand in front of her as she looked at him with consternation in her eyes. "D-don't come any closer for a while."
Somehow, seeing her this way and hearing her words made Pan An feel an ache in his heart. It's as if Shu Xian is now setting a boundary between them because of Ruo Xi's sudden appearance.
And if turned out that it's that way, Pan An deeply wished that it isn't so…
Since he's starting to yearn for the woman before him already before he even realized it.
Pan An didn't know how to react to that. With Shu Xian holding her hand up against him as if she wanted distance, he couldn't help but admit that it pained him, but what is he to do?
She obviously knew about Ruo Xi which is why it prompted her to act this way.
"Shu Xian…" Pan An called her name, softness in the tone of his voice. "You know Ruo Xi?"
Shu Xian didn't need to answer his question. With a tear suddenly escaping her eye, Pan An felt his heart aching, making him want to approach her and comfort her.
"Shu Xian…" he said her name again, taking one step towards her. "Why are you crying? It makes me feel bad."
"I… I don't know…"
Shu Xian's voice broke as she shook her head. Even though her voice was almost in a whisper, Pan An could still hear her because of the quietness of this room.
"I know about her… your mother warned me about her," she added, getting Pan An's full attention. "I thought it was absurd at first—me feeling uncomfortable that Ruo Xi was the name you called out to that night you went inside my room."
"Shu Xian…"
Pan An closed his eyes briefly, not wanting to remember that scene. Even though he was drunk that night, he could still remember it.
"Do know… that I was under the influence of alcohol and it was not my intention—"
"But they say people say the things that they desire the most when under the influence of alcohol."
Shu Xian interrupted Pan An, more tears escaping from the corner of her eyes.
"And I feel like a fool now at this absurdity because with Ruo Xi here now, it had made me confirm so very hard what I've been fearing to feel because you may not reciprocate the same."
"What are you saying?" Pan An asked, confused at what she said. "Why are you saying you're a fool? What is absurd? What have you been fearing?"
"They're all the same," Shu Xian answered, almost in a whisper. What she said next made Pan An's heart race in his chest. "I'm falling in love with you before I even knew it… fast… and hard…"
The first bell had rung, indicating that there are five minutes left before classes would formally start. With it making Shu Xian blink her eyes for a few times, she realized that she had to go back to class and that staying here would be an issue if one would open the classroom door.
Even though the hallways were completely empty before they went here… who knows if a staff like a guard might roam and check?
"I… we have to go."
However, as Shu Xian was about to leave, Pan An stopped her in her tracks. He had his hand on Shu Xian's upper arm, his hold around her tightening as if having no intention of letting her go.
"P-Pan An…" Shu Xian stammered as she said his name. "Classes will start soon. We have to go—people might—"
"Once the second bell rings, I go first then you follow. So as to not cause confusion, I will tell them that I have escorted you to the nurse's office and you come back 5-10 minutes later. Do you understand?"
Shu Xian shook her head, not understanding his reason at all! She could see no logic as to why she should go late since they can leave the room right here and then which is even better!
"We can leave the room now. There is no point in—"
"I can't let you go on ahead without me making this clear!"
Shu Xian widened her eyes, not believing what she has heard.
"Are you crazy?! Just pretend we didn't discuss about this! We can either talk about this later, or act as if nothing happened!"
Pan An didn't like what she said—particularly the part of Shu Xian saying they can act as if nothing happened.
With him making her turn her body towards him with both of his hands, he inched in closer—any more proximity, their lips would appear as if to kiss already.
"Do you think—" Pan An spoke, his breath fanning against Shu Xian's lips. "—that I'd be able to forget what you said after you confessed your feelings to me?"
Shu Xian didn't answer his question. With her blinking her eyes a few times, she was no longer crying, Pan An, using his right hand to wipe her tears away.
"And do you want me to tell you that you're really a fool?"
Shu Xian furrowed her brows, confused.
"What?"
Pan An released her from his hold. With him holding her wrist that wore the bracelet he gave her, he raised it up and pointed at it for her to see, as if stating a point.
"Do you think I only gave you this bracelet just to make you happy with the words 'you're special' in Italian engraved on it?"
Shu Xian was still standing still, looking straight into Pan An's eyes as what he said next had further made her heart race.
"You're a fool—I have to admit… but it would be more foolish if you didn't know why I gave this to you."
Surprising her, Pan An had pushed her towards the wall behind her, making it impossible for her to escape. With his forehead pressed against hers, his hand on Shu Xian's waist made her gasp.
"I have three minutes left… for me to show you not only through words that I reciprocate what you fear and that you have nothing to worry about."
As if knowing what Pan An was about to do, Shu Xian immediately rested her hands on his shoulder, closing her eyes as the professor kissed her.
The moment their lips brushed against each other sent shockwaves throughout their body, making their heated moment all the more exciting.
Shu Xian at first was utterly afraid that both of them will get caught because they're both in the university and they're doing something between a teacher and a student that shouldn't be.
However, a girl obedient like Shu Xian felt naughty this time.
This time… she wanted it.
This time… she allowed it.
This time… she loved it.
Shu Xian's lips parted slightly and seductively, allowing Pan An's entry to further deepen their kiss. With his hand running through her hair, Shu Xian did so as well, further pulling him closer towards her, both of them now feeling each other's body heat.
"And you say—" Pan An broke away for a moment, both of them panting in want as they stared straight into each other's eyes with burning passion. "—that you're a fool for fearing that I might not reciprocate?"
Shu Xian gasped when she felt something hot and hard against her despite their clothing, a teasing grin appearing on the professor's face with how shameless he's becoming.
"How dare you say that… when you already have your answer right here?"