BXBX NOVEL Chapter 136 - Always
[TRIGGER WARNING: A topic about depression is discussed here. If you are uncomfortable about it, please skip the chapter.]
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"You see… Zhang Ren has depression and he almost attempted suicide until I caught him. He said he wanted to leave Country S—desperately… that is why I did such lengths to hide every personal information about him and put him there in City S in Country C instead… until he says he's okay."
Shi Lian still couldn't believe what she has heard. With her talking about Zhang Ren with Mr. Chen, she was still in a daze in the bathroom even after the call had ended.
Mr. Chen told her about Zhang Ren having a toxic family background back in Country S, his father specifically putting so much pressure on him since he is the only child, a male at that.
Mr. Chen told him that at first, it was okay for Zhang Ren to be pressured by his father because he has his mother and his grandparents to back him up.
But since an incident happened during a car crash that killed both his mother and his grandmother, only his grandfather is his ally.
Since then, it made Zhang Ren difficult to fight against his father's wishes. The death of Zhang Ren's father's wife and his mother had further made him harsh, as if no longer looking into the emotional well-being of his child.
Because of that, it has pressured Zhang Ren to do self-harm on himself—wanting to meet his father's expectations but it overwhelmed him.
Luckily, Mr. Chen said that he felt something off one night, Zhang Ren's unusual kindness and affection towards him making him feel worried.
The moment he visited his room, he was about to jump off from his balcony with a knife on hand, making him rush to him to hold Zhang Ren down.
And all of this happened two years ago… before he enrolled in the university here in City S last year.
Mr. Chen also told Shi Lian that since then, Zhang Ren only talked to him—not even his father. Even though this event made his father come around, the trauma still stayed with him—still having the difficulty to even look at his father even in a picture.
Zhang Ren is staying in an apartment far from the university. He does not live alone—he is accompanied by his personal psychiatrist hired by Mr. Chen. Luckily, the psychiatrist turned out to be Zhang Ren's confidant and friend before he met Shi Lian and the others.
Mr. Chen reiterated his gratitude to Shi Lian. He said with him already talking to other people, and with him having friends, it made him think that he is getting better in City S, further asking a favor from Shi Lian to watch over Zhang Ren and continue to be with him.
With that, Shi Lian's tears in her eyes escaped, making her cry silently for him as she did not expect such a sad background coming from him.
It's indeed as she read—the happiest people turn out to be people having such a dark past, having traumas that they carry.
Shi Lian sighed, already leaving the bathroom. With her absent-mindedly going to her wardrobe, she got an oversized sweater that she stole from her brother's closet, making her wear it as a sleep wear.
With her wearing her underwear next, she plopped on her bed face down, the pillows bouncing to her sides.
She turned her body to face the ceiling, her forearm on her forehead as she blankly stared at the darkness, her throat painful as she stopped herself from crying.
'Zhang Ren… what can I do… to make you feel better?'
Shaking herself from her own thoughts, her phone suddenly rang beside her. With her getting it as she turned to her side, her eyes widened to see Zhang Ren now calling, making her wipe her tears away even though he won't see her.
"Ahem… ahem…"
Shi Lian cleared her throat. She wouldn't want Zhang Ren to notice that she is crying, not wanting to sound suspicious, too.
She answered the call. With her putting the phone against her ear, she greeted him, sounding slightly cheerful so he won't suspect a thing.
"Zhang Ren. It's almost midnight. Why are you calling?"
Zhang Ren let out a soft chuckle. With him sighing, he then spoke, making Shi Lian's heart race in her chest when he said something that made her remember what she had almost forgotten.
"I'm sorry about the kiss… it happened because I found you irresistibly cute."
"Zhang Ren…"
Shi Lian playfully rolled her eyes, slightly happy that Zhang Ren is happy this way.
"Please don't play with me. I will kill you."
"Haha!" Zhang Ren laughed, "Of course, I won't. With your brother somewhat scolding me a while ago, too… how could I do such a thing?"
Hearing this, Shi Lian slowly sat up, not believing what she has heard.
"Wait, wait… that idiot scolded you?"
"Yes," Zhang Ren let out another chuckle. "Don't be angry now! He's only doing it as your older brother!"
"Huh…"
Shi Lian let out a scoff, a smirk coming to her face.
"Turns out my older brother does care. I can further use him as my slave, then!"
Zhang Ren kept laughing since the call started. With their talk making Shi Lian worry for him if he's faking his happiness or not, she couldn't help but further furrow her brows in concern, asking Zhang Ren a question.
"Hey, Zhang Ren…" Shi Lian called out, asking a question that slightly surprised Zhang Ren. "Are you really happy… talking to me?"
Zhang Ren didn't answer for a while. With a light chuckle coming from the other end of the call, he answered her question.
"Yes. It's why we're friends, right? I like talking to you even though we just met."
With that said, Shi Lian embraced both of her knees with her other arm. With her chin resting in between her knees, she said something so sincere… that is capable enough to make Zhang Ren's heart race in his chest.
"Zhang Ren… I know we recently became friends, but know that I'm here for you, alright? Always…"