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Chapter 593 The Bitterness Of His Mistakes

That night, Xi Ying again went to the study room after dinner.

After he was sure that Li Rui was deeply asleep, he left for the study room. However, just when he stepped out of the Plum Courtyard\'s entrance, he found General Li sitting inside the garden.

Xi Ying glanced and stood there for a few moments before he raised his foot to leave. However, General Li who sensed his presence turned around to look at him and called him out.

"Prime Minister Xi."

Xi Ying halted amidst his steps with a frown on his forehead. Talking to General Li was one of the difficult things for him …perhaps it was either because of the past that perhaps only he knew about or because he just didn\'t like the man as a father for his wife, Rui.

"Where are you going this late at night?"

Xi Ying turned out to look at the middle aged General with annoyance filled eyes as he said

"This Lord can ask you the same question, General Li. What are you doing here in the garden so later at night?"

General Li chuckled on hearing his words, however, Xi Ying couldn\'t find any amusement and hence he merely had a bored expression on his face.

Seeing this, General Li sighed and stopped laughing soon. Looking at Xi Ying\'s cold face, he said honestly.

"I was thinking about what you said in the evening."

Xi Ying raised his eyebrows at these words. So General Li gave some thought to his words.

"I think you are right."

A wry smile was there on General Li\'s lips as he continued

"I have not been a good father to my daughter. I used her to keep my wife unaware of everything I had wanted her to be. At an age when she should have been carefree, I pushed her to make herself strong. So what if she was stubborn to go to the Imperial Palace, I should have just locked her up. She, after all, was just a child so she would have forgotten the princess and the promise she made soon."

All these words were said to General Li by XI Ying when they were at borders.

At that time, he had found Xi Ying\'s words very ridiculous. He had found Xi Ying\'s anger ridiculous. But now, he was able to understand things from Xi Ying\'s point of view. But Xi Ying also was not aware of many things.

At the end of his words, General Li\'s smile became drier as he looked at Xi Ying and said

"Actually No! Prime Minister Xi, I know my daughter very well. She was not like any other child. She would have never forgotten the promise she made to the princess. In fact, if I would have locked her up then she would have constantly tried to leave Li Manor. Rui…she would have gone to see the princess regardless of how much I would have tried to stop her."

"That time when Li Zhan stepped out to save my daughter, I could only let her do so, Prime Minister Xi. Unfortunately, I was not intelligent enough to find some loopholes in their scheming and save my daughter so I could only let Li Zhan do so. I had already threatened the Emperor to leave the Xin to save Li Rui from one punishment so I couldn\'t do so again."

Because If General Li had done so, even the ministers in the Imperial Court would have not been on his side.

"The only wrong thing I have done was that I told her half truth. Her mind after Li Zhan\'s death was not ready to accept it. I …I can understand that how scared she must have felt at that time to push herself to become so stronger and calm."

General Li\'s eyes unconsciously started to fill with tears but he blinked them back. His daughter would always be a wound on his heart. Even if the wound would heal on seeing her happy with Xi Ying, the scar would still be there.

"But she was too young to understand the complicated past this General, her mother, and Zhao Wang Lei had. So I could only tell her that half-truth to stop her from doing anything childish again that would risk her life again."

Xi Ying\'s face was blank after General Li finished. He actually didn\'t have anything to say.

He looked at General Li with emotionless eyes but his fists were clenched. At this moment, he couldn\'t help but General Li was also right somewhere at his place but what about the things his wife had gone through…

Because of General Li.

Because of him.

"What about four years ago? Why did you never try to tell me that you never planned all that?"

General Li had a helpless expression on his face as he said

"I never knew that you would believe those baseless rumors."

"This Lord had investigated. Only that\'s why…"

Xi Ying stopped amidst his explanation when he realized that the shadow guard he had sent to investigate was none other than An San.

The remembrance of An San only made him more furious and he clenched his fists tightly. At this moment, he was tied down in the basement of his study room.

He shook his head and focused on the present. Soon he heard General Li saying

"I never knew that you investigated this matter, Prime Minister Xi."

Xi Ying frowned deeply. A moment later, he asked Xi Ying

"Why did you not try to investigate anything?"

"I did."

General Li said almost immediately.

"I tried my best but I couldn\'t find anything."

Xi Ying frowned. What he had wanted to say was that General Li\'s people must be very incapable then. But then he chose not to say it.

Things slowly started to become clear to Xi Ying.

He couldn\'t help but smile bitterly.

So in the incident that happened four years ago, only he seemed to have gone wrong.

Though he had decided to mend his relationship with Li Rui when he had come to know that she was pregnant with his child, after coming back to the Imperial City, he concluded on his own that she never wanted this child.

And after that, he never saw her again.

Xi Ying was filled with bitterness on remembering those four years. It was a little surreal now that he thought that he stayed away from the woman for four years, he couldn\'t say away even for a day.

Especially when she was in his own manor.